


Dear Agony  The -Starset-Series Chapter 6

by Antigravity_Carnivore



Series: The Starset Series [6]
Category: Breaking Benjamin (Band), STARSET (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Angst, Darkness, Demons, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Inspired by Music, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Male Slash, Music, Musicians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 01:18:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9634061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antigravity_Carnivore/pseuds/Antigravity_Carnivore
Summary: The beginning of the end.





	

I abruptly stood up from the stool I was sitting on; knocking it over in the process and everyone turned their attention to me, wondering what I was doing. Within moments, I was on my feet and almost sprinting across the length of the room, moving as quickly as I could to reach the seats in the back. Pushing past startled fans that were blocking the way, I made it to the row where I had seen Ben sitting, smiling, smirking at me, but there was no one there. I looked around at the confused faces around me, so desperately wanting to see him. I pointed at the empty seat and shouted at the person sitting next to it. “Where did he go!?” The woman shook her head and clutched her signed CD to her chest, visibly afraid of my angry tone. 

“No one has been sitting there; it’s only been me and my daughter here.” She pointed to a little 8 year old girl standing behind her, her hair up in ponytails tied with bright blue and purple galaxy ribbons, wearing a Starset t-shirt. She was cowering and trembling at my sudden outburst. I sighed and saw the security staff filing into the room, coming to collect me. Another bad decision on my part. I paced around the row of seats like a caged animal. Brock slung his guitar over the side of his body and ran in front of them, meeting me at the back of the room and grabbing my forearm. 

“Hey Dustin, chill out man.” Brock spoke in a calming, reassuring voice. The security staff were now shoving me, trying to get me to return to my seat. Brock gestured for Adam, who was the largest to join him on the opposite side of me and together, they pushed past the rude guards and started to walk with me back to the dressing room. As soon as we were out of the room, I wiggled free of Adams and Brock’s grip and slammed the door behind me. Alone with the three of them, I waited for the firing squad. 

Adam was the one to pull the trigger first. “Ok. What the fucking hell was that Dustin? Getting up after our first goddamn song and acting like you are strung out like a junkie, seeing shit that isn’t there! This is going to be all over social media now. You ruined us, are you happy?”

Brock walked across the room and gently placed his guitar on the cradle. “Adam, calm down. Don't overreact. You're not making things any easier with that tone in your voice.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair.

Adam grabbed me by the front of my shirt, picking me up like a rag doll. I tried to avoid his accusing stare. “I asked you, as a friend to keep it together for this tour, and now, not even our first show in and you’re going all mental again. How much of this do you expect us to put up with?”

Brock stepped in and pulled Adam off of me and I sank down into a chair without putting up a fight, my brains were too scrambled for coherent thought. “Everyone just calm down.” He knelt in front of me. “Dustin, hey… look at me. You can make it through this ok? All you have to do is listen to me, and we’ll get through it. First things first, what happened..happened. We can’t change it, but we can do some damage control. We have an entire show to put on and if we’re not a united front, they will see that. Now, can you sing tonight?” 

I nodded. 

“Ok. Adam, I want you and Ron to go find the event manager and tell him that the show still goes on as scheduled. All VIP’s will be refunded.” Brock calmly instructed.

“What do I tell them if they want to know why he freaked out?” he asked in a gruff voice, staring right at me with a hateful glare.

Brock walked over to the door and opened it up for them, trying his best to speed things along and get them out of the room. “Make something up, I am sure you could come up with something....creative and yet tasteful.” 

I watched as they both headed out and Brock stopped Ron before he left, leaning in and keeping his voice low so that the already upset drummer wouldn't become even more enraged. “Keep Adam busy for as long as you can, get him to calm down and give me some time alone with Dustin, I'll sort things out.” Then he closed the door behind them as they left, leaving the two of us alone. 

He kept his back towards the closed door. “Dustin, I'm not going to ask you what...who you were chasing, because I don't need to know. I just need to know that you're still with us, and that we're not losing you again.” 

There was something in his quivering, anxious voice that genuinely frightened me. He was scared, and I couldn't blame him either. I was scared for myself as well. “You're not losing me.” I replied in a flat, monotone voice. Even though my mind was spinning in a thousand different directions, I knew where I had to be. I had to stop and center myself. I stood up from the chair and walked over to Brock, and gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “I am going to go out there, with you, and all the others beside me and do what I’ve come here to do, to give the fans one hell of a show.”

Brock gave me a hopeful look. “Are you sure you can do this?” 

I flashed him a smile. “I know I can, this is what I’ve been working so hard for. I’ve never written music that I feel so connected to, so passionate about. Every single one of those people out there is counting on me. I will not let them down.” 

He put one of his slender fingertips over my heart and brought his gaze up to look into my eyes. I felt a shiver run down my spine. “That’s not what I meant.” 

I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t move. I was trapped there in those innocent, beautiful eyes, unable to tear myself away from them. I desperately wanted to blurt out my feelings for him, but no words would come; only an awkward silence filled the space between us. My breathing was shallow and labored, I hadn’t been this close to him in weeks, and being here, feeling his hand on my chest, was all that I wanted. “Brock, I… I’m sorry.” I shook my head and looked away from him for a moment. “I don’t want to be chasing ghosts my entire life, I want to be with you.” 

 

Reaching out, he laid a hand alongside of my face and turned my head back to look at him. “It’s over Dustin.”   
My heart sank. I wanted to run away and never look back. I turned to go and he grabbed me by the wrist, pulling me back to him. “You didn’t let me finish.” I stood less than a foot away from him, held fast by that vice like grip and an enticing stare. “What happened with Ben last year is over.” I cringed the way he said Ben’s name. It was dripping with animosity and hate, characteristics that I had rarely seen Brock addressing anyone with before. “He’s gone, and I know that you’ve been having a hard time accepting that, but you have to let it go…because you’re making yourself sick.”

“Yeah, I suppose so…” I started, but he cut me off, tightening his grip around my wrist. 

“No.. Not ‘suppose’, you HAVE to do this. Dustin, all the shit that’s been going on… it’s inside of your head. None of it is real. That recording that you made.. the one that I deleted? Remember it? I deleted it because there was nothing on it; it was only static, useless noise. You spent hours down there, fussing over nothing, if I hadn't deleted it, you couldn't of moved on.” 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. All these months Brock hadn’t spoken to me, refused to even look at me… was because he was trying to show me that Ben was in my head?!? He didn’t know what I was going through, he didn’t know what I was feeling, how could he? I refused to accept it.

“Dustin…” he spoke to me with a soft, gentle voice. “Please, for once listen to reason. I want to help you, let me help you. Trust me and we can get through this together.” All the anger started to melt away and I felt as though I was on the verge of collapsing and falling into his arms. Almost as if sensing my inner turmoil, Brock let go of my wrist and drew me into a very tight embrace. His thin arms wrapped completely around me, and I took in the scent of his flesh. 

“Just tell me what I have to do.” I whispered. 

Brock kissed the top of my head lovingly. “You already know what you have to do.”

The door to the dressing room suddenly opened up and Adam and Ron stepped inside, getting a eyeful of Brock and I locked in an embrace. Adam grinned and remained quiet, while Ron shook his head and made his way over to the bar. “I guess this means that we’re on tonight eh?” Ron asked, grinning wide. 

Brock let go of me, but as I moved to walk away, he wrapped one of his arms around the back of my neck and gave me a playful tug, pulling me over in the direction of the bar. “Hell ya we are! Now let’s have a pre-show drink!”

The atmosphere in the dressing room became more relaxed with the copious amount of alcohol that we consumed. The months of me ostracizing myself from the rest of the band while I was writing didn’t seem to matter much now at all. Damage control had been done with the incident at the VIP event, and I was relieved to know that the worst that could come out of it was a internet rumor or two… and everyone knows that most of that type of gossip isn’t real anyway. The ill will between Brock and myself was gone, and that meant more to me than anything. I knew deep inside that he was probably right. I had let myself become so obsessed with something, chasing ghost after ghost, trying too hard to catch it, that I failed to notice the things, and people that really mattered, were right here with me the entire time.

After the show, instead of hurrying off to whatever parties were going on, the band and I decided to do an impromptu meet and greet with fans on the way out of the venue. To see their faces positively light up with the chance to get an autograph, or tell us how much the music meant to them was wonderful. It filled my heart with hope. Hope for the future, that I could overcome that shadowy darkness that lingered in the back of my brain, constantly scratching at the walls, waiting for the opportunity to crash through and devour me. During the autographs, Brock would occasionally look over at me, and give me a goofy, silly smile that always made me laugh. We waited until the very last fan passed by us to call it a night. I was exhausted and smelly, and thirsty as hell. The intoxication from the whiskey I had earlier was now wearing off, and for fearing I wouldn’t remember much in the morning, I decided to call it a night. We all hopped in our bus and headed for the hotel. It was a middle-class business hotel, with not many luxury items, but enough to make it comfortable. Adam and Ron decided to loot what was left of the continental breakfast while Brock and I stayed near the front desk and patiently waited while our tour manager sorted out some minor details.   
Leaning against the counter, Brock leafed through a array of tourist pamphlets, scattering them across the table with a disinterested gaze. “I’m proud of you, Dustin.”

I turned my attention away from the TV monitor blaring some boring news cast and stared at him with a inquisitive look. “For what? For messing things up again tonight?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Things happen for a reason.” He put the pamphlets down and lightly rested his hand over mine. “Now you are finally seeing what we are seeing, Dustin. A very talented, creative man, who has so much to share with the world…but a man haunted, troubled and burdened by his own demons.” He stopped for a moment and hesitated in a dramatic pause. “Tonight, you made a conscious decision, a decision that will probably change you for the rest of your life, and for the good. But… you have to let us help you, let ME help you. Are you willing to do that?”

The manager came around and passed out room keys for us. Feeling generous, he treated us all to a room of our own. We started walking down the hall with our bags in tow. As we approached the designated doors, I turned around to whisper to Brock. “I am.” He smiled at me and reached out to take the room key from my hand and slipped it into the pocket of his jeans and pushed the door open to his room, motioning for me to go inside. My heart soared as I walked past him and headed in. Outside in the hallway, I could hear the other two band members snickering.

Throwing my bags in a corner, I immediately sank down onto the bed, and waited for Brock. The tiredness washed over me. I felt as though all the mental anguish I had been through in the last few weeks hit me all at once like a truck, and my body was deciding that was quite enough. In addition, tonight’s show had taken quite a toll on me, and I was visibly exhausted. Brock entered the room a few moments later and gave me a smile. “You look like crap, man.”   
I laughed and rolled over on the bed, shoving a pillow behind me. “I feel like it too.”

Brock rummaged through his bag and brought out a handful of clothes, walking over to me. “I’m going to take a shower.” He nodded towards the bathroom. “You’ll be OK for a few minutes?” he asked.

“Mm hmm, I’m just going to close my eyes for a second.” I mumbled into the pillow. I watched as he went into the bathroom and partially closed the door behind him. I noted that he left it open a few inches, and in soon I heard the rush of water and the first wisps of steam creep out from the crack. I leaned back onto the pillow and closed my eyes for a moment, thinking back to the chaos of the night. What I had seen, the hallucination that I foolishly chased after had nearly ruined everything for us. Even if I was hell-bent on chasing after my own ghosts and demons, I had no right to bring the others down with me. I was going to fight this with everything I had this time. I knew now that Brock would stand beside me, unwavering. All I had to do was trust in him. 

A voice inside my head spoke. “Don’t abandon me.”

“I’ve made my choice Ben. I have to let you go.”

“The darkness, it’s so cold. It consumes me. Dustin.”

“Let me go.” 

“Will you let me suffer in this Hell? I sacrificed myself for you.”

“You are the enemy inside of me; I can’t live like this anymore.”

“I’m suffering.”

“I’m so sorry. This is the way it’s got to be.”

“Dustin… don’t bury me!”

“Goodbye Ben.”

The bathroom door opened and Brock stepped out. I slowly opened my eyes. He was still dripping wet, with a towel wrapped strategically around his waist, and another draped over his head and shoulders. He was drying off his hair as the droplets of water ran down the front of his chest and glistened like small diamonds in the dim light of the hotel room. “Who were you talking to?” he asked, curiously. 

I met his eyes without shame. “My demons.” Brock took a step forward, the look on his face changing, looking almost crestfallen. I moved toward the edge of the bed, and reached out, taking hold of one of his hands and pulling him over to me. “It’s alright, I’ve sent them away. It’s over.”

“Really?” he asked, with a slight quiver in his voice. 

I stood up in front of him, feeling the residual heat from the hot water still built up on his skin, and smelling the sweet scent from the body wash that he used, it was overwhelming and intoxicating. Reaching behind his head, I pulled the towel away from his shoulders and let it fall to the ground. I guided my fingers into the layers of his soft, sandy hair and delivered a unexpected, intense, passionate kiss to his warm lips. He had just brushed his teeth, and I could taste the distinct flavor of sweet peppermint on his breath. Being close to him like this again felt as though there was a spark of electricity between us, sending a pulse into my heart and jolting it into full life. His moist body moved against mine, and he wrapped his long arms around my back, letting his fingers dance over each vertebrae of my spine. The water dripped from the tips of his hair down over my arm, giving me a chill and covering my body with goosebumps. I ran my fingertips down over the soft flesh of his shoulder and arm until our fingers met and melded together, knitting each digit together as we continued that loving kiss. He leaned his head back slightly and I moved down to kiss the curve of his jawline and down his neck, his hand clenched mine tightly as my lips fell over every inch of his flesh, and I could feel his body become aroused and enticed with every single moment that passed by. 

Letting go of him, I lightly rested my hands on his shoulders and pushed him down onto the bed. He offered no resistance, and clutched at my shirt, guiding my body on top of his. As I eased myself down onto the bed, he reached up and took my glasses off, sitting them neatly on the nightstand, and then sat up for a moment, his lips anxious for another kiss. “I thought you were tired?” he asked as his lips briefly touched and then fell away from mine. 

I stroked my fingers across his cheek and rested my forehead against his. “I was…. But the heaviness in my heart has been lifted. I no longer have the burden of guilt to bear. I’m free.“

Brock unbuttoned my shirt, I watched how elegant and delicate the movements with his fingers were. I know that I would never get used to seeing his youthful, beautiful body next to mine, but it was clear to me that he loved me, and I would do whatever it took to love him back. I was never letting him go again. I shrugged off my shirt and kissed the slender plane of his chest. It was so smooth and flawless, with a feverish warmth that made me want to curl up around it. He reached down and unbuttoned my pants, pushing them down without any effort. I felt the fabric slide down over my legs, brushing over my thighs and then fall away off the side of the bed. Brock grabbed the cord from the lamp next to the bed and gave it a quick yank, suddenly flooding the room in darkness. I listened to the sound of his breathing, steady and even, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the darkness. He whispered to me. “I want to see you in the moonlight.” I wondered what he meant, and as I raised my head, I understood. There was a large window in the hotel room, with the curtain open. I meant to close it when I went in, for privacy but I was too tired, now it remained open, and there was a beautiful silver moon floating high in the heavens tonight, cascading a beautiful silvery glow over everything. I looked at Brock, and his eyes were bright and hopeful, full of life and love. He touched my shoulders, letting his fingers trace over the curve down from my neck, following the waterfall of moonlight as it flooded over my naked body. I kissed the spot between his shoulder and neck, and reached down to pull the damp towel away. My fingers wrapped around the soft material and it loosened up and slid off his thin hips without any effort. My heart beat rapidly in my chest as I felt him wrap his arms around me, over my back at first and draw me close to him. Our bodies fit together perfectly, skin on skin, flesh to flesh. Then he danced those fragile fingers lower over my back, and dipped low, over my hip bones. I lowered myself down onto him, as he played my body like one of his guitars, moving up and down the shaft, producing the utmost beautiful melody I have ever experienced. 

Eventually the night caught up with us, and we both slipped between the cotton sheets of the bed and curled up in each others arms, face to face. Brock ran his fingers through my hair until sleep crept in and claimed us both.   
I wasn't quite sure what time it was when I woke up, but something dragged me out of my peaceful slumber and forced me into consciousness all at once. The room was only barely lit with a very dull light from outside, which told me that it had to be almost dawn. I rolled over and kissed Brock's shoulder tenderly, pulling the blankets up over my shoulders and curling up in a ball behind him, closing my eyes and trying to force myself back to sleep, but it wouldn't come. I tossed and turned for several minutes, desperate to find a comfortable position, until I had done enough twitching to wake Brock up. He rolled over and kissed me on the chest. “What's wrong Dustin?” he asked, barely awake.

“I.. just can't sleep. I think I am going to go out for a walk.” I muttered, swinging my legs off the side of the bed and reaching down for my pants. 

Brock propped himself up on one elbow and yawned. “Wait, I will come with you.”

I leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “No, go back to bed. I'm just going to go outside to make sure the bus and the gear is ok, then I will be right back in. I'll be back before you know it.” 

Pulling my pants and a shirt on, I rose off the bed and reached over to where my glasses were on the nightstand, but my hand came away empty. I slipped my shoes on and took a moment to search the floor, but they weren’t there either. Not wanting to disturb Brock any further, I decided to head out without them, I wasn’t going far anyway. I grabbed the key card off the table and pulled the door silently shut behind me, stepping out to the desolate hallway beyond. The generic hotel lights brightly illuminated the horridly painted doors to each room, and I stopped at Ron and Adam’s door for a moment to listen inside briefly. I could hear the distinct snoring from them, and laughed, knowing that they were sound asleep, probably crashing after devouring the left over snack food from the lobby. Instead of heading out to the parking lot via the front door, I chose to take the longer route down the back of the hotel and out a side door. I didn’t feel like being bothered by any curious staff this early in the morning  
.   
As I pushed the door open, the chill morning air hit me in the face like a brick and I started to shiver, wishing that I had brought a jacket out with me. The lot was partially empty, not many guests chose rooms in the back of the hotel, so I had enough privacy to go poke around by myself and not be disturbed. A thick fog had rolled in during the night, and it obscured most of the lot, leaving it looking even more sinister and ominous. I could vaguely hear the whir of cars passing on the interstate not too far away, but I couldn’t even see a single light. I stepped off the curb and headed for the bus which was parked at the end of the lot, walking briskly in an effort to keep myself warm. As I reached the door to the bus, I fumbled with the keys and ended dropping them. I cursed to myself and bent down to pick them up, as I did so, my eyes caught sight of someone standing by the rear of the bus. Curious, I shoved the keys back into my pocket and headed around to investigate. As I rounded the corner, my jaw dropped. Standing there, shrouded in the heavy fog, dressed in his always elegant layers of black was Benjamin Burnley. 

I didn’t know what to say or do. I was completely dumbfounded and stood there with a look of complete shock and disbelief on my face. It couldn’t be real. I blinked my eyes a few times, and pinched my own arm, I had to be still dreaming. He leaned against the back of the bus and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Aren’t you even going to say hello to me?” he asked. 

I balled my hand into a fist. This isn’t what I needed right now. My first reaction was to turn around, head back to the hotel and climb back into bed with Brock. I tried to will my feet to move, my body to turn, but it wouldn’t. Whether I was capable of it or not, I would never know, but even against my better judgment, I remained still, standing there facing him. “You have to go, Ben. I—I can’t do this anymore.” 

“Yes, you’ve made your point rather clear now, haven’t you?” he asked, very nonchalantly. He straightened up and took a step towards me, and I took a step back and I saw him let out a visible sigh, his shoulders dropping a little. “Dustin—you have to listen to me… this is important.”

“Do I?” I snapped. “You’ve almost ruined my life Ben. Every single time I think I am getting my shit together, you appear in some fucking hallucination and screw things up again. You know perfectly well how you make me feel, and you exploit that. Every-fucking-time. All the stuff I’ve done, all the success and fame we’ve acquired, I’d throw it away in a heartbeat if it would bring you back to me. You’ve said it so many months ago; no one should have that kind of power over another person.” My hands began to shake but I couldn’t stop it. I had to get it all out of me. I had to let him know exactly what I was going through. “I trusted you with everything and you used all of it against me. I feel so deeply in love with you, that I was willing to walk away from this life to spend eternity with you, and it wasn’t enough for, you wanted something that I couldn’t possibly give. You’ve completely drained the life out of me, time and time again. I won’t let you do it ever again.” 

Hearing my words, the expression on his face changed from stoic and unreadable to saddened and heartbroken. I could see tears building up in the corners of his eyes, they looked at me pleadingly. He took another step forward and I held my arms out, shaking uncontrollably. “Don’t come near me!” I shouted, realizing that my voice was rather loud and echoed perfectly through the empty lot. 

Ben took a breath and looked away from me. The moon had long since retreated to it’s daytime slumber, and the sun was slowly rising over the mountains. It was that hazy time of morning, the dark before dawn. He kept his gaze trained on the mountains and asked a simple question. “Do you love me, Dustin?” 

My heart stopped for a moment. My stomach tightened into hard knots. It was the one question that I was unprepared for, the one that I fear the answer to… and it should have been such a simple answer. Both my head and my heart became carnivorous, eating me alive from the inside. Here, standing before me was the man that I had looked up to for so many years, the one whom I respected and drew inspiration from for my music, the one who took me in his arms and looked into my eyes, telling me that he believed in me…how could I be afraid of answering his simple question? This was an inner turmoil that I had never felt before. I was totally consumed by it. All he wanted was one word, one simple word that could answer his question. Why were my lips locked tightly, unable to speak? “Ben…” 

The light from the sun broke over the horizon, it cascaded down over him, giving his pale skin a beautiful, warm glow. His dark hair and clothing were in stark contrast to the paleness of that translucent skin, and I could see dark circles around his deep gray eyes that were filling with tears. Ben was such a strong, willful person, both in body and spirit, and now here he was, standing in front of me, looking torn and defeated. I couldn’t bear it. I found myself walking over to him, I wanted to touch his arm, just one touch to know that he was really there. I reached out my hand to him and laid it neatly on his arm, the coldness from beneath his thick hoodie was overwhelming. He didn’t move or react, he was freezing cold. His eyes still did not turn away from the sunrise. I wanted to take him inside and warm him up. I couldn’t leave him out here like this, alone. 

In a dull, flat lifeless tone, he spoke to me again. “Answer the question.”

I took a moment to look back over my shoulder at the hotel. There was something there for me. I inhaled, drawing the cool air into my lungs. “Yes, I love you Benjamin.” 

Something inside of him changed. He closed his eyes. My hand remained on his arm, but he did not respond to my touch. “Finish your thought.” He said. 

It didn’t take any special powers to know that I had more to say than the words I said out loud. He knew that, in a way I was grateful. “I love you, but I can’t be with you. I can’t give you what you want. It’s impossible.” Summoning every bit of courage that I could, I reached up and touched his cheek. I had forgotten how his skin felt, cool and perfect as a fine marble. “I was the moon, and you made me shine, not with sunlight, but with darkness. You took the emptiness from me and gave me starlight. I will forever be grateful for that, but Ben, the darkness can be suffocating.” I attempted to pull my hand away, but he caught it in his and held onto it. “I need to breathe, Ben.”

Blinking back tears from his eyes, he grasped hold of my hand tightly, so tight that I thought he would crush each bone in my fingers. He looked over my shoulder towards the hotel entrance for a moment and then back to me, his eyes suddenly filled with intensity and color. “Listen to me Dustin, you’re in danger. I tried to warn you on the beach, but I failed. It’s hungry now, and it will stop at nothing until it finds and devours you.”

“What—what are you talking about? Are you mad?” I tried to pull my hand away, but he suddenly yanked my arm and pulled me around by the front of the bus and looked to the side entrance of the hotel. 

“I gave up my life for you, Dustin so that you may live, remember? The thing that devours souls is a hungry thing, and it wasn’t satisfied with me, you were it’s mark, it’s target all along. It manipulated and used the feelings I had for you to lure you in so that he could come claim you, when we switched places, giving my soul for yours, it became enraged and angry. It ripped me apart day and night in vengeful lust that it had for you. I did everything I could to keep it from you, but I failed. The constant torture was too much and it broke me, and it’s been using my image to lure you in with the hallucinations and dreams, so that it could break you down and come claim you.”

I stared at him in complete disbelief. “This is all so… “

He grabbed my shoulders. “I know, I even tried to warn you, but it found out. Dustin, it will stop at nothing until it consumes you. You have to find a way to stop it.” He pointed back to the hotel, to a row of trees that was still shrouded in the early morning fog. “See there, it waits, lingering, waiting, biding it’s time until it strikes again. It will always be there, just out of the edge of your vision, until you’re driven mad with insanity of never being able to see it.” 

Looking over to where he pointed I could see the black shrouded figure looming in the distance, clad head to toe in black, it’s face hidden with a dark cowl. I felt as though it was laughing, mocking me. I blinked once and then it was gone, changing positions from tree line to closer in the parking lot, and then back again, becoming further away and closer each time. My mind was reeling. “How do I stop it?” I asked, now shaking uncontrollably. 

“I don’t know, I am not even sure what the hell it is, all I know is that it’s darkness, that devours souls, and it has an endless appetite. It will destroy everything you love until it has you.” Ben’s voice was filled with sadness and regret. “I am truly sorry for all of this. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I loved you, that is all I know. I would of done anything for you.”

I looked at him with pleading eyes. “Then help me! Stop this!” I glanced back over to the hedge line and the figure was gone. I thought I saw a wisp of black fabric being dragged away just inside the glass door. 

He shook his head. “I wish I could, but Brock is right. I am nothing more than I ghost.”

A rush of panic started to build inside of me. “Wait.. what did you say—about destroying the ones that I love?” 

“It has no mercy or compassion for others. It wants you, Dustin. I loved you, so it used me to get to you, and once it knows how it can manipulate you, it will take advantage of that. If there is something you love, it will consume them until it reaches you.”

“Fuck! Brock!” I turned away from Ben and sprinted back towards the back entrance of the hotel. All I could think of was Brock being in extreme danger. I ran as fast as I could, my heart pounding furiously in my ears until I reached the door. I pulled on the handle, but it wouldn’t open, it was securely locked. Cursing to myself, I fumbled for my key card and inserted it into the lock. The light flashed red over and over. It wouldn’t work. I kept swiping it over and over, but with no luck. I saw some people inside the hotel, at the very far end of the hall, so I started to pound and beat as loud as I could on the glass, begging for them to turn around and let me in, but they kept walking, they never heard me. I gave the door a kick with my foot, but I knew that was useless. I had to get in there, I had to get to Brock before that Monster did. Tossing the card aside, I took off in the direction of the main entrance, running at full speed. My lungs were stinging painfully and my legs almost gave out as I rushed to the front door and sprinted inside. I saw the confused look of the front desk clerk as I came barging in, covered in sweat. I hurried down the corridor that led to our rooms, nearly knocking down the couple I had seen earlier in the process. I ran past the door to Adam and Ron's room, which was still firmly closed until I found mine. “Brock! Brock!” I shouted for him, and realized that I had left the key card outside on the ground. I started to pound as hard as I could with my fists on the wooden door. “Brock, come on man, answer the door. Brock. Fuck! Brock!” I was in full panic mode when the door unexpectedly swung open into the dark room. I could hear some commotion behind me but I ignored it. I stepped inside and looked around, breathing a sigh of relief. In the darkness, I could see the shape of Brock laying on the bed, still sleeping. “Oh man, I was so fucking worried. I thought something happened to you.” I waited, but there was no response. I walked further into the room. “Brock?” The lights flashed on and off and I got my first glimpse of the terrifying sight in front of me. 

The room was trashed. Broken furniture was tossed everywhere. The large window that we had watched the moon rise from last night was also smashed, the curtains blew slightly in the breeze and the carpet around it was littered with a million fragments of glass. My eyes focused on the bed in the middle of the room. It was saturated with blood. There was a lump of sheets and blankets balled up in the center, which resembled the shape of a person that I had mistaken for Brock. The blood formed a pool in the middle of the bed, and spilled off down to one side, almost as if someone was dragged off of it. The headboard and pillows were also soaked as well, with a massive amount of blood splatter dripping off the flickering lamps and nightstand. I slowly walked inside, my knees threatening to give away underneath me and walked over to the bed, feeling my feet sink into the damp carpet underneath and picked up my blood covered glasses from where Brock had left them on the nightstand, slipping them into my pocket. I reached out and flicked the blankets off the bed, waiting for the worst, but there was nothing under them but more blood. The Monster had gotten to Brock before I could. Was he even still alive? This was all my fault. My stomach churned. I turned around, heading for the bathroom and ran into Adam and Ron who looked on in utter disbelief. “Guys.. “ I broke down and started sobbing. 

All the color had left Ron’s face. “Dustin, what the fucking hell happened here?”

I forced myself to calm down. “I don’t know—I was outside, I just came in and found the room like this.”

Adam walked past us and looked into the bathroom. “Where’s Brock?”

“I don’t know!” I shouted.

Ron stepped back into the hallway, almost predicting what was going to happen. In a moment’s time, Adam came flying at me, grabbing me by the shirt and throwing me up against the wall. “Dustin, what did you do with Brock? Did you kill him?” The force of my back hitting the wall momentarily knocked the air out of my lungs, and I couldn’t respond. “Huh, Dustin? Answer me!”

“I didn’t touch him, I told you, and I wasn’t even in the room… I just got here.” I shouted back. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Ron talking to some of the hotel staff who was already gathering en masse. 

“You’re a goddam liar, look at you! You’re covered in evidence.” 

Glancing down at my hands, I could see that they were covered in blood and that my shirt had splatter marks across the front of it that had not previously been there. What the hell was going on? “I didn’t do anything!” I shouted and tried to wiggle free from him, but he held onto me tightly with an unnatural amount of strength. I grabbed hold of his hands and attempted to pry them off of my arms. “We’ve been friends for years, you know me, why would I ever hurt him? Let me go!” 

Adam slammed me against the wall again, this time harder and the back of my head hit against the wall. The sudden blow left me dazed and the room started to spin, I had to struggle to listen to his words. “You’ve been going fucking crazy for the last couple months, Dustin, everyone knows it. We all saw it, but no one said anything. We never thought you’d go and do some shit like this. Brock was trying to help you, we were all trying… and you go and do this. You’re fucking insane.” 

I landed in a crumpled heap on the blood soaked carpet and looked up at Adam and Ron. Adam was glaring at me furiously while Ron was doing his best to control him, but it was of no use. There was this rage inside of Adam that had been released and seeing the atrocity before him, and knowing that his best friend was missing, it all just bubbled to the surface. I managed to find my way up to my knees and looked at him, still hopelessly trying to talk some sense into him. “I loved him too, Adam. I wouldn’t hurt him! The Monster did this. It’s out there and it has Brock who is injured, probably dying and you’re going to stand there and accuse me? You’re pathetic.” 

I saw him lunging forward and tried to move out of the way, but my body was still stunned from being tossed down to the floor and I was too slow. Pain shot through my body as his foot smashed into my ribs, and I could feel them shattering. I fell, toppled over and lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling in extreme amounts of pain. “Monster? Dustin, you’re the only monster here. The only place it exists is inside of your head, Brock told you this so many times, but you refused to listen. Now he’s dead and it’s by your hands, you schizophrenic lunatic, so you just lay there until the cops get here because so help me god, if you move one inch, or say one more word I am going to save them some time and kill you myself.” Off in the distance, I could hear sirens coming off the interstate. Adam turned away from me and paced around the room, always keeping his eyes on me. 

Laying on the floor, my ribs broken, I was helpless to do anything. I was thankful that he only kicked me once, another well placed blow to my midsection would probably rupture some vital organ and I’d be dead within minutes. But that is what he wanted. I couldn’t believe that things had gotten this far. I wanted everything to go back to the way that it was before. I’d give it all up, all the fame, the fans, everything if I could have the band back. I didn’t care what was going to happen to me, all I cared about was Brock. He was truly an innocent soul that didn’t need to get involved in this. I rubbed my hands over my face, closing my eyes, trying to make it all go away. “Brock, I am so sorry.” I whispered.

I was listening to the sound of the voices in the room, trapped and helpless in my own pain when I heard them all become hushed and quiet, replaced by the sound of broken glass being crunched underfoot. I opened my eyes and slowly and looked around. I saw a pair of thick black boots standing over me, eyelets neatly laced, black jeans perfectly tucked into the ankles and I knew who it was. I painfully drew my body into a upright position, leaning against the side of the bed and Benjamin knelt down next to me, putting a hand on my side and pressing down painfully. “Your ribs are broken, can you stand?” 

“Ben—how?” 

“Don’t ask any questions, you don’t have time. As I asked, can you stand?” I looked around the room to see everyone staring at him, Adam and Ron included. I nodded.

“I think so, if you help me.” Ben slipped an arm around my shoulders and lifted me up, helping me to my feet. As I tried to straighten up, the ribs shifted inside of me and a searing bolt of pain doubled me over, making me scream out. “I… I just need a minute.” I said through labored breaths. 

The sound of the police was growing closer by the second. “You don’t have a minute Dustin. Come on.” He half carried, half dragged me back out through the broken window, sending shards of glass skittering out of the way. We had only walked a few feet when I heard Adam call after us.

“Burnley, he’s a murderer. You can’t just leave with him like that.”

Ben tightened his grip on me and didn’t break the speed of his pace. He continued to walk out to the parking lot with me leaning on him with complete confidence, unwavering. We reached a black flashy sports car that had been hastily parked near the hotel and he opened the passenger door, tossing me inside. I fell into the seat, gasping for breath. Ben vaulted over the hood of the car, his black jacket flapping out behind him like a pair of black wings and went to the driver’s side, pausing to look back at the onlookers from the hotel. Adam had come outside and was a few feet away from the vehicle. Ben opened the car door and stared him down, finally flipping him off and jumping inside and speeding away.  
Ben drove like a mad man possessed, weaving in and out through traffic, desperate to put as much distance between us and the hotel as was possible in the shortest amount of time. A thousand questions flew through my head, none of which I wanted to ask. The pain in my chest was almost overwhelming and every time he swerved to switch lanes, I felt it almost crush me with intensity. After several minutes, I managed to get myself together enough of sit up in the seat. “Where are we going?” I asked with a shaky voice. 

“You want Brock back, right? We’re going to get him.” He said flatly. 

My eyes widened. “You know where he is?!? Is he alright?” 

Ben suddenly turned the wheel abruptly to the right, causing me to fall against the door. I hit it and the pain shot through my body again, and I started to gasp for breath. Obviously no more questions for me. “I don’t know what condition he is in, be may possibly be dead already, judging from the amount of blood all over that room.” He kept his eyes trained on the road ahead of him. “And I know where he’s been taken; because I am to take you there…” his voice became deeper and darker. “It’s a trap Dustin. You have to make a decision right here and now if you truly want to go through with this. I can’t do anymore for you, after I take you there; you are completely on your own. This is it for me.” 

I looked at him and saw the man that came into my hotel room after our very first show, the tall, beautiful man with those impossibly gray eyes and skin as white and pale as the moonlight. It broke my heart with guilt, that in a way, I was responsible for all of what had happened. “I don’t want you to go.”

He let out a light chuckle. “Funny, just a short time ago you said exactly the opposite thing to me.”

Resting my hand against my side to try to prevent being jostled around anymore, I looked down to the floor, lowering my voice. “I know…if I could take it all back I…”

“You would do the same thing. He loves you. You two belong together. You’ve only been able to hold on to your feelings for me because I kept interfering with your life.” He looked over at me and put one hand under my chin, lifting my head up to face him. “It’s time now, we have to let this go, it’s been long enough, for both of us.”

“What will happen to you?” I asked, not really wanting to know.

“I no longer have a soul. So I will cease to exist.” He slipped his fingers away from my chin and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. Several minutes passed as the silence grew between us. I didn’t know what to say to him, with a head full of questions; I knew that they’d never be answered. I wanted the final moments between the two of us to be peaceful. I leaned my head against the window and watched the scenery pass by outside. It had been a long, cold winter and now everything was turning green and warm again. I wanted to sit outside under the stars with him and point out all the constellations.

I was aware that we were traveling back to the venue that we had left the night before. Ben pulled up next to the darkened marquee which still had the big bold letters of our band name on it and turned the car off. “Here?” I asked.  
Ben nodded. “Brock is inside, he’s injured, I don’t know how badly.” Without hesitation, I grabbed hold of the handle of the car door and was about to open it, when Ben’s hand shot out and grabbed hold of my wrist. He turned to me with those beautiful gray eyes. “You don’t have to do this. What is lurking in there in the dark will quite possibly bring you nothing but your own death, Dustin.”

I gave him a soft smile. “No one deserves to have their life come to an end like that, bleeding to death, alone and confused in the dark.” Ben’s expression did not change, he still stared at me with a pleading gaze. I couldn't bare it. “Besides, if it were me in there, what would your decision be?” I opened the door and stepped out onto the curb with great difficulty, pressing my arm tightly against the broken ribs to keep them from shifting any further and then back to Ben, who refused to meet my gaze. “I don't want to say goodbye to you.”

Reaching into his pocket, Ben withdrew my glasses and handed them to me. “Go be a hero, Dustin.” I leaned back into the car and took them from him, my fingers lightly brushing over his cool skin. This would be the last time that I would ever feel it. I struggled to choke back my tears. He gave me one last look, our eyes meeting for only seconds before he pulled the car away from the curb and vanished into the early morning traffic. 

I stepped forward and pulled the massive glass door to the venue open and walked inside, letting the darkness consume me.

To be continued. . .


End file.
